What would YOUR answer be to THIS parenting question?Mar 04, 2023
I went to the dentist recently, and the next day I got one of those email surveys. You know, the kind where they want to know how happy you are with *insert random experience,* and then ask if you’d recommend this same experience to a friend.
And then it occurred to me…
What would I have said in my early years of parenting if I had suddenly received a random magical survey from the universe, demanding to know how I’d rate my parenting experience, LOL. (I’ll tell you my answer in a moment.)
How about you?
Would you give your experience of parenting a ten? Or a four?
Parenting can definitely be a 10:
😘 Reveling in the sweet, sticky kisses of our toddlers
🪁 Teaching our kiddos how to fly a kite, bake a pie, catch a ball
😜 Cracking jokes with our tween, and realizing we actually like this human
It can also be a 4:
😡 The frustration we feel when they resist getting dressed, eating dinner, or going to bed
😳 The worry that consumes us when they struggle to recover after what seem like minor setbacks
😭The grief that rises when they yell how much they hate us, all while we’re trying to love them so well.
And here is something we don’t admit often enough:
Some of us go through ALL the numbers in a single day.
(That’s what would have been my answer to the magical missing parenting survey, by the way.)
Why do some of us have numbers that run the gamut? Well…
1. Some kids are not “coded to please.” They have their own very strong desires from the get-go and are here to MAKE. THEM. HAPPEN. When this happens, you may find yourself stuck in trying to change your kid (futile and frustrating) instead of learning how to optimize them (totally possible and beneficial for you both).
2. Approximately 20 percent of people are highly sensitive, gifted, or “neurospicy,” and oftentimes they may not even know it. If either you or your child fall into this category, the experience of parenting will likely be more complex for you. You may be constantly trying on one-size-fits-all parenting techniques that were never made for the specificity of you and your people who run “differently” and may be creative, deep-thinking, impulsive, NEED routines, hate routines, etc…
3. Some people are carrying anxiety and/or trauma. Unfortunately, this may leave you unconsciously feeding into the pain of your past, without supporting you in how to proactively build the future you desire.
And SO MANY MORE reasons too.
Because we are all unique, even in our shared struggles.
The more specific and complex your situation is, the more tailored and creative your parenting solutions need to be.
This is exactly why the MFA Mentorship Program exists: to provide the high level of customization and care that some of us need so we can be fully in love with the job of parenting. APPLY HERE.